


i can't fight this feeling anymore

by antiopesgirlfriend



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 06:53:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17178020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antiopesgirlfriend/pseuds/antiopesgirlfriend
Summary: the TARDIS is fed up of the Doctor not telling Yaz how she feels about her so she takes matters into her own hands





	i can't fight this feeling anymore

**Author's Note:**

> i am half asleep - any mistakes are mine. pls enjoy

“We’ve been through this.” The Doctor huffed, hands on her hips, staring at the centre of the console.

The TARDIS whirred matter of factly.

“She doesn’t like me back.” The Doctor reiterated. “How many more times do I have to tell you?”

A gentle purr came in reply. The TARDIS would drop the topic for now.

* * *

 

“You have to stop doing this.” Warned the Doctor.

The TARDIS feigned ignorance, remaining silent in mock confusion.

“Oh, you know exactly what you’re doing.” The Doctor fumed. “You keep moving _her_ room so she’s closer to me. It’s bad enough doing it while she’s awake but it’s a whole different thing to move her while she’s sleeping! Do you know how disorientating that is?” Her tone softened. “Mess with me if you really want to. But leave Yaz be. It’s not her fault I’ve complicated things with my feelings.”

More silence followed, but the lights of the TARDIS gave a dull flash. From now on, it would just be the Doctor she played with.

* * *

 

The Doctor ran her hands through her wet hair in exasperation. “Can I not even shower in peace?”

Waves of sound rippled through the TARDIS that sounded suspiciously like laughter.

“It’s not funny anymore.” The Doctor wrapped a towel around herself and reached to wipe out the words written in the in the condensation on the mirror.

_Tell Yasmin Khan you like her, or I’ll make you._

“You can’t _make_ me.” Said the Doctor, bending over so she could rub a towel through her hair. “I’m old enough to look after myself now. I can make my own decisions. For all intents and purposes, I am what you would describe as ‘grown’.” The Doctor stood upright once more, satisfied that her hair was dry enough for it to not leave a river in her wake as she trekked to locate a hairdryer. “Oh, not again.”

Upon the mirror, below the words wiped out, were more inscribed below.

_Just you wait._

The Doctor shook her head, dismissing the message. What could the TARDIS do? She was a glorified box. The Doctor, on the other hand, was a living, breathing time lord. There was nothing the TARDIS could do that she could not counter.

* * *

 

“Oh, you absolute-“ The insult fell off the Doctor’s tongue before it could pass her lips.

“Are you alright, Doctor?” Yaz peered over the Doctor’s shoulder as she, seemingly in vain, fiddled about with the lock on the TARDIS doors.

The Doctor hummed through a clenched jaw. “No need to fret!” She said, sounding more as though she was trying to convince herself than Yaz. “I just need to have a quick word with the old girl. If you don’t, uh, mind.”

“Of course!” Yaz made herself scarce, deciding a quick walk around the purple-grassed field might be nice.

Now left alone with the TARDIS, the Doctor hissed at her ship’s doors. “Let us in, please.”

The doors rattled, teasing her. _Not until you tell her how you feel._

“You’re a little bugger, you know that, right?”

The TARDIS whirred proudly.

“I’ll get you back for this.” The Doctor narrowed her eyes at the blue box before turning on her heel and running to catch up with Yaz, who was now half the way around the field opposite to where the TARDIS had been parked.

Ryan and Graham had been left in Sheffield. It was for some quality family bonding, they had said. The Doctor had let the TARDIS choose where she and Yaz would explore next. When they had first landed and found landscapes of deep purple hues, it had seemed like a good idea. It reminded Yaz of the heather-covered moors she loved so much at home. Unlike home, though, in the valleys stood crystal villages, each cottage appearing to have been carefully chiselled by hand. When they had returned to the TARDIS and she didn’t let them back in, the Doctor began to think that giving so much power to her ship may have been a mistake after all.

“So, we me have to do a little more, somewhat specialised, investigating around these parts.” The Doctor said as she caught up with Yaz.

“What kind of specialised investigating?” Questioned Yaz, a single eyebrow raised.

“Well, you see…” The Doctor tried to find the words to best explain their current predicament. “The TARDIS and I have had a falling out of sorts. Nothing major!” She assured her companion. “It’s a very minor thing. But it does mean we’ll have to find somewhere else to sleep.” The Doctor looked to the skies. “Although it will have to be soon. The suns are already setting in the north.”

Yaz nodded slowly. She too had noticed the blue haze falling over them. They were losing light. “We’ll start looking for a hotel or a B&B.” Yaz said, altering her path so they were heading towards the nearest village. “What have you fallen out about?”

The Doctor reddened. She could feel her blood rushing to her cheeks, leaving her extremities almost numb. “Oh, it’s nothing.” The Doctor stuttered. “Nothing for you to worry about, Yaz. It’ll be sorted by the morning if I get my act together. But now let’s focus on finding a place to stay.”

Yaz looked at the Doctor through narrowed eyes but dropped the subject. The Doctor was as good at talking around things as well as about them. If there was ever something she didn’t want to talk about, there was never a way you could make her. She would just talk about anything and everything but.

“Hey, Doctor.” Said Yaz. “I think I remember seeing a bed and breakfast down this lane.” She pointed down a cobbled path.

“Lead the way, Yasmin Khan. I doubt there are many places to stay around here. It’s quite remote. It’s pretty late as well. If you’re right, which I am sure you are, and if there’s room, we should snatch it up while we can.”

Thankfully, Yaz was right. It appeared to be a farmhouse, its crystal walls dulled from insufficient maintenance. Though, Yaz and the Doctor both reasoned, if you were running a farm _and_ a B&B, there probably little time left to look after the exterior of their home.

Just inside the door hung a bell. ‘Ring for service.’ A sign behind it read.

The Doctor complied, reaching up to the rope that hung down and gave it a little wiggle, grinning when the sound rang through the corridors. “I’ve always loved bells.” She commented.

This, Yaz thought, was not a statement for her own benefit. Instead, just so the Doctor could put her thoughts out into the universe.

Moments later, the alien, who appeared to be the receptionist, crawled over to them and sidled in behind the desk. She reminded Yaz of Roz from _Monsters, Inc._ , though she was a great deal friendlier. “How may I help you?”

“We were wondering if you had a spare room for two for tonight.” Said the Doctor.

The alien searched through her files until her eyes lit up. “We do have one room free.” She said and then looked over her glasses to Yaz and the Doctor. “But I’m afraid there’s only one bed. A double, though.”

The Doctor’s mouth hung slightly open, hesitant to answer.

“Yes!” Said Yaz immediately. “We’ll take it. Thank you.”

“Very well. I shall find your keys.” The alien left them to search for it in the back room.

“Are you sure?” The Doctor asked Yaz quietly.

“Yeah!” Said Yaz. “You said we should snatch up a room if we could.”

“That is true.”

“Are you okay with sharing a bed?”

“Of course! It’s just-“ The Doctor stopped herself before she let her feelings pass her lips. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay with it, that’s all.” To the Doctor, her words sounded rather unconvincing. Alas, Yaz did not seem to notice at all, so all was fine.

“I think we know each other well enough to share a bed, don’t you, Doctor?”

The Doctor didn’t trust her words so relied on nodding instead. Saving her, the alien receptionist returned, key in hand, to show them to their room.

“The room has been paid for, as of your entrance to the room.” She explained. “There’s an en-suite through the door opposite the bed. And breakfast is at sunrise. Would you like a wake-up call?”

“Yes please.” Said the Doctor.

“Do you have any bags you need help bringing up?”

Yaz and the Doctor shared a worried glance.

“No, thank you.” Replied the Doctor. “We’ll fetch them ourselves.”

“As you wish. Enjoy your stay.”

Yaz and the Doctor thanked the alien receptionist as she closed the door behind her.

“How can we fetch our things if we can’t get back into the TARDIS?” Asked Yaz.

“Yeah, about that.” Said the Doctor, staring at the toes of her boots. “We can’t. But we would have come across as very suspicious if we’d said we had none.”

“True.” Said Yaz, nodding thoughtfully. “So, what’s the plan for tonight?” She asked, yawning.

“I think perhaps we should settle in for the night.” The Doctor suggested. “I don’t know about you, but I am knackered. And I don’t think sunrise is as far away from sunset here as it is on Earth.”

“Do you mind if I go through the bathroom first?” Yaz gestured to the door leading to the en-suite.

The Doctor shook her head. “Be my guest!” She said, her smile dropping as soon as Yaz locked the door behind her. _It’ll give me time to arrange my thoughts, at least._ She thought.

One day, she would get the TARDIS back. There was no way the Doctor could keep her feelings for Yaz hidden now. Not when they were sharing a bed. It wouldn’t be fair to Yaz.

“Doctor?” Yaz called from the bathroom. “I don’t have any pyjamas and I don’t think I can sleep in my jeans. Would you mind if I slept in my t-shirt and pants?”

The Doctor’s head fell into her hands. She supposed she would have to do the same. A shiver ran down her spine when she thought of how much their bare skin was bound to brush against each other in the night. “Do whatever makes you feel comfortable!” She called back.

When Yaz stepped back into the bedroom minutes later, the Doctor kept all of her focus on meeting Yaz’s eyes and not looking her toned legs up and down.

“Bathroom’s free!” Said Yaz, climbing into bed and tucking herself under the covers. “They have toothbrushes and toothpaste!”

_I know._ Thought the Doctor. _I can smell it on your breath._ What she said, rather weakly, instead was, “Thank you.” She lifted herself off the bed. “Don’t wait up!” She added despite knowing she would be ready for bed in a matter of minutes.

The Doctor emerged from the bathroom, trousers and coat hanging over her arm. Yaz was sat up against the pillows, her features warmed by the dim bedside light. In that moment, it was impossible for the Doctor to ignore how beautiful Yaz looked. She sighed, knowing that their friendship could soon be shattered. It was now that the Doctor had to admit her feelings to Yaz.

“It’s my fault that they TARDIS won’t let us back in.” The Doctor murmured.

Slowly, Yaz opened her eyes. “Pardon?”

“It’s my fault that they TARDIS won’t let us back in.” The Doctor repeated, only slightly louder.

Yaz looked at her quizzically, imploring her to continue.

The Doctor fumbled over her speech, making sounds but no words. She shook her head, resetting her brain and allowing her words to fall in line. “I like you, Yasmin Khan.” It looked as though Yaz was about to speak, so the Doctor held up her hand, wordlessly asking Yaz to let her continue. “And it’s not a friend kind of like. Well, of course, it’s that too. And I hold our friendship above all else. But my other feelings cannot be helped. And, God, have I tried. I like you romantically.” She exhaled, expelling the weight that had been lifted from her shoulders. “And I’m telling you now because we’re about to share a bed, wearing less than I thought we would be wearing.” She gestured to her bare legs before covering them with her trousers and coat once more. “I wanted to be honest with you. So you can make an informed decision on whether or not you actually want to share a bed with me. I am completely fine if you don’t. I’m sure there are enough pillows for me to create a makeshift bed in the bath. Or I can just stay up. Sleep isn’t as necessary for me-“

“Doctor.” Said Yaz softly, stopping the Doctor’s rambling. “Get into bed.”

“What?” The Doctor’s brows furrowed, her whole face moving with her eyebrows.

“I don’t mind. Just please get into bed. You’ll freeze to death out there.” Once the Doctor had clambered into bed and pulled the covers up to her chin, Yaz continued. “I like you too. Like that I mean.” She said, looking straight ahead. “I just didn’t have the courage to tell you. And I thought, if I ignored it enough, it might go away.” Yaz sighed. “But that hasn’t worked so far.”

“Oh, Yaz.” Breathed the Doctor. She turned to face Yaz. “I’m glad it hasn’t worked so far.”

Yaz met her twinkling eyes with a shy gaze. “Me too.”

“So, what now?”

“I mean, we still need to sleep.” Said Yaz. “But maybe we could cuddle as we sleep?”

The Doctor hummed peacefully. “I would like that. But can I be the little spoon? I like to feel small.” She admitted. “That’s why I like to travel the universe. To remind myself how small I really am.”

“I like to be the big spoon anyway.” Yaz smiled, turning off the bedside light, plunging the room into darkness. She shuffled further under the covers and turned onto her side. After the Doctor had done the same, she pulled the blonde closer into her. “I like this.”

“Me too.”

“Doctor,” Yaz said into the darkness after a few beats of silence. “Why did your liking of me make it your fault that we couldn’t get back into the TARDIS?”

Hidden by the darkness and how they were lying, the Doctor rolled her eyes dramatically. “She knew that I liked you. And she wasn’t happy that I hadn’t told you. First, she started telling me to tell you, then she moved your room around until you were closer to me. Then she moved my room. After that, she left me secret messages. That brings us to now. She locked us out and will only let us back in once feelings are confessed.”

“I see.” Said Yaz. “A bit over the top but I guess she got it done.”

More silence passed.

“Yaz?”

“Yes?”

“Can I kiss you?” The Doctor asked gingerly.

“I would like that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

With an impossible amount of tossing and turning, the Doctor manoeuvred her body so she was facing Yaz. Slowly, she closed the gap between herself and Yaz, capturing her lips with her own. The kiss was soft and gentle, thoroughly needed by the both of them. It was desperate, their hearts racing and fingers shaking at the act they’d both been dreaming of since they’d first met.

It was the Doctor who brought the kiss to an end, pressing her forehead to Yaz’s, her breathlessness clear from the rise and fall of her chest. “You are a brilliant woman, Yasmin Khan.”

Yaz smiled, her cheeks slightly flushed. “And you are one of a kind.”

“Should we sleep now?”

“Probably.” Said Yaz, deflated.

“Don’t forget, I have a time travel machine.” Said the Doctor. “We can sleep all night and have all the time in the universe to do this again.”

“You are the smartest woman I know.”

“The smartest _timelord_ you know.” Corrected the Doctor.

“Alright, don’t push your luck.” Yaz grinned, shaking her head fondly.”

The Doctor ducked her head and it took her just as much effort to shuffle around to her previous position as it had to get out of it.

They fell asleep, the Doctor’s back pressed against Yaz’s front, their legs intertwined, and their fingers laced, resting against the Doctor’s bare stomach where her t-shirt had ridden up. This was not how they woke. In the night, the Doctor had turned into Yaz, resting her head on her chest.

The first to wake in the morning was the Doctor. Initially, she was pleased with how soft her newfound pillow was. Until she realised that she was resting her head upon Yaz’s chest. Eyes widening and cheeks reddening, the Doctor altered her position so they lay as they had fallen asleep. At this moment, Yaz stirred, and a knock sounded at the door.

“Breakfast is served, ladies.”

Two mumbled replies of thanks came from the bedroom as the pair stretched to shake off their slumber.

Few words were shared between Yaz and the Doctor over breakfast. Bashful looks and lingering touches were aplenty. The alien receptionist was kind enough to not mention their recycled outfits from the day before.

Having stuffed themselves with intergalactic goods, they returned to their room to ensure they had collected the very few belonging they have brought before leaving fresh-faced and full-bellied, giving their thanks to the alien receptionist once more.

After a quick walk, Yaz and the Doctor were back at the TARDIS, her doors opening to welcome them home.

“About time!” Said the Doctor.

Though the Doctor could speak no words, it was very much clear that she was uttering the Doctor’s words back to her.

As she always did when she first got home, Yaz headed straight towards her room. “Uh, Doctor.” She called down the TARDIS’ winding corridors. “Come here!”

Flailing wildly, the Doctor slipped around the corners, running towards Yaz’s voice.

“Oh you absolute-“ The Doctor and paused and turned to Yaz. “Is this okay for you?” She gestured to the room. It contained Yaz’s belongings and most of her furniture, with the Doctor’s array of rainbow t-shirts poking out of the wardrobe, and her King-sized bunkbed – with a mix of hers and Yaz’s books stored beneath – pushed against the far wall.

“I love it.” Said Yaz.

“Me too.” Said the Doctor. “In that case,” she directed her words to the TARDIS. “You absolute beauty.”

**Author's Note:**

> i hope this was okay ! <3 let me know what you thought <3


End file.
